


Daria’s sexuality crisis (or, the story of how one Morgendorffer fell for her best friend)

by saiouma



Category: Daria (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, but dye dye my darling doesn't happen bc fuck that noise, i guess?, set during s4, social media and texting is a part of it so.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiouma/pseuds/saiouma
Summary: ...“Anyway, are you still jealous of that Tom guy?” Daria glared at her. “I am not jealous of him,” she snarled quietly, and Quinn giggled until she realized that Daria wasn’t joking.“Wait, you’re serious?” Daria nodded and stared at the blank TV, expecting the conversation to end there, but Quinn wasn’t giving up. She gave her sister an unimpressed look.“Daria, come on. Are you still acting like you aren’t in love with Jane?”Daria blinked, sitting up properly now.“What?”
Relationships: Jane Lane/Daria Morgendorffer
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	Daria’s sexuality crisis (or, the story of how one Morgendorffer fell for her best friend)

**Author's Note:**

> i finished my daria rewatch and, fueled by pure bitterness that daria and jane didn't get together (ik they go to boston together, but still) and that they forced daria into that bs love triangle, i sat and wrote 10k+ words of pure wish fulfillment. the sexuality arc was right there man.. it hurts. 
> 
> my writing isn't on par with the show's (obviously) but this is the way i wish a "daria finds out she gay asf" arc would go
> 
> the beginning is kinda weak i think, but hopefully it keeps you engaged long enough to read all of it. i hope you enjoy

Daria was never one to get close with others.

In Highland, her birthplace, she was, for lack of a better term, surrounded by idiots. She was dangerously anti-social and apathetic for her age, as the school counselors would often say.

Her parents would try and force her into activities so she could make some friends. Even as a kid, she loathed having to do said activities because the kids just didn’t seem to understand her. Even if she wanted to make friends, they made fun of her for just not being stupid. As a result, she completely distanced herself from her peers, making her a complete and utter outcast. This was something she was fine with, and something she figured she would always have to deal with. Her sister, Quinn, was very much the opposite. She had tons of friends and admirers, and this list only grew as she got older.

Then her mother got a new job at some big shot law firm in some place called Lawndale in Pennsylvania, so they had to move. Daria wasn’t exactly _thrilled_ about this. Not like she liked Highland, but she wasn’t a fan of change. But she sucked it up, and tried her best to support her mom (and dad, but to be honest, her mom was definitely the breadwinner of the family). In other words, she didn’t whine or complain about the move like Quinn did. Not out loud at least.

Didn’t take long for Daria to find out that Lawndale was mostly uneventful. She couldn’t say she was surprised. Probably the pessimist in her, but she didn’t expect much. The kids were still stupid, the teachers were stupid, and Daria didn’t really expect to meet anyone interesting in this god forsaken place.

Enter Jane Lane.

Daria met Jane during a self esteem class she was forced into, and did _not_ need (her own fault she supposed, as she intentionally gave “unconventional” answers to the school psychologist… the things she’d do for attention, you know). Her and Jane got along so well, which stunned Daria because she wasn’t exactly known for making fast friends. They fucked with O’Neill, their ~ _sensitive, new age_ ~ English teacher and stuck it to Quinn, which made Jane a-okay in her book. She made her laugh, and that was something next to nobody could even do.

After Daria and Jane finally dropped the class, Daria was always a teensy bit worried that Jane would get bored of her and they’d drift apart. She always did have a bit of an issue with abandonment, she admitted.

But in fact, the opposite happened. 

Jane and Daria became attached to the hip quickly, from going to parties together, getting money for a fundraiser, fighting their principal against censorship, trying to sell Jesse’s parent’s old vinyl tapes at a flea market which subsequently got stolen, the list went on. Wherever Jane went, Daria was almost always with her, and vise versa. They didn’t have the most conventional “ _best friends 4ever_ ” relationship most teenage girls their age had, but Daria was happy. She was content to have a friend who would ( _annoyingly_ ) push her towards her crush, even if it was her own brother, who would listen to her rant about her mom’s latest bonding technique, her dad’s utter lack of involvement, or her sister’s vapid and self centered tendencies. She liked that Jane would ask her opinion on art that she made or how determined she was to make her a subject of a painting (which Daria would answer with a firm _no_ ). Jane made her much more social than she thought she’d ever be, and surprisingly, she didn’t hate it. Not as long as the other girl could make snide comments about their situation with her.

Sometimes, they’d fight, and that would suck, _hard_. Since Daria never bothered to have friends or interact... at all really, she never knew how to articulate her feelings well, leading to some minor rifts in their relationship from time to time. Daria always hated arguing with Jane, but she, admittedly, could be extremely unmoving when it came to her opinions. With every argument (which weren’t even that common) and every resolution, she found herself being even more grateful for having a friend as great as Jane, even if they never fully expressed their appreciation for each other (they were too cool for that, after all).

Despite this, she often found herself getting irrationally, _confusingly_ irritated when Jane would become interested in some random guy. She never believed that Jane “belonged” to her; she understood you can’t own a person. But she couldn’t help herself from being slightly annoyed with the object of the artist’s affections. When Jane would ask for Daria’s opinion on her man of the month, none of what she would say was positive or were backhanded complements. Jane would often shrug it off as just Daria being Daria, and her attraction would die down by the day (or longer, like that one time she joined the track team, which was unbearable. Daria was miserable back then and even started talking to herself, but she knew she only had herself to blame for her behavior. She said she was just upset due to there being an ethical issue, but she knew deep down that losing Jane was what really made her feel so crummy. Luckily, they made up quickly) and the status quo would return. Jane would hang out with Daria, Daria would hang out with Jane. All would remain right in the world, and the cycle continued to keep on rollin’. 

Daria had no complaints. She was again, very happy. She had some people she liked in school, but they were very few and far between. She just never truly clicked with someone as much as she had with Jane.

Then Tom came into their lives. 

Jane met him during one of the Spiral’s gigs during late March of their junior year (Back when Daria met the band, she labeled them as some _Foo Fighters_ or _My Chemical Romance_ band opener; She didn’t express that to Trent to be polite) and they instantly hit it off. Daria was pretty annoyed to say the least; Jane just met this guy and she was already going on a date with him? Did her friend not worry that he was a potential mass murderer? Jane tried to get her to relax and once again, pushed her towards Trent so they could bond. After going home that night after planning her and Jane’s multimedia project with him (he was gonna help make the music, although Daria had her doubts) the girl came to a realization after dragging herself up the stairs and throwing herself on the bed to stare at her ceiling that in all honesty, she didn’t know how she felt about Trent anymore. 

She liked and respected him, absolutely. Trent was a sweet guy. He was flaky, sure, but he wasn’t mean to her, he got her sense of humor, and he was good at playing music, so it made sense for her to like him in that way.

 _Right_? 

Most girls she knew (or was forced to pay attention to, anyway) liked guys in at least some way. Lawndale wasn’t the most conservative town per say, but she knew there were a lot of self proclaimed straight girls, like Brittany. Her own sister was _excessively_ straight… as far as she knew.

So why did it feel like she _had_ to like Trent, instead of her just _wanting_ to?

She supposed her crush on him began when they tried (and failed) to go to one alternative music festival that was being held in downtown Philadelphia. Despite every embarrassing thing that happened that day, and how much she held back her more rude comments, he ignored those things and chuckled at her jokes. She respected his courage to go after his dreams, no matter how hopeless they seemed. Her crush on him strengthened, though, because Jane kept nudging them together. Back when she first met Trent, she was awkward around him, and Jane interpreted that as her being attracted to him. Daria did admit that he was... cute, but he reminded her a lot of _someone_ in a lot of ways (a thought that she repressed way, _way_ down.)

When she’d think about them being in a realistic, serious relationship, her fantasies were never very... pleasant. She’d always would end up with the idea that she would end up taking care of him after his band plan failed later in life, and she didn’t want that. Even if she did have nice fantasies about them getting married, they weren’t the most realistic ideas, and that was strange to Daria, since she always opted for strict realism.

Even beyond that, what would they even talk about? Daria and him both wrote, true, but to put it simply, their writing quality were on two different levels. She enjoyed music, but wasn’t nearly as passionate about it as he was, when he’d bother to work. She realized how little they had in common, and she had a feeling she’d end up growing frustrated with him after the honeymoon phase in their imagined relationship would wear off. 

…Okay, so she didn’t like Trent. She guessed she never _really_ did. Her brain seemed to just latch onto the man she was closest to relationship wise. She never bothered to hang around boys; whenever the thought would cross her mind she’d just think, “ _what could I do on a date with some guy that I couldn’t do with Jane_?” And she’d call her to get a slice of pizza from the local joint.

Her standards were almost impossible for any person to reach, and when she did think one guy that was decent, like Ted, she ended up losing interest quickly or thinking of a reason on why they wouldn’t work out, anyway.

“ _Wait, why am I thinking about Trent or any of that right now?”_ She rubbed her eyes, a frown making her way onto her face. “ _I’m supposed to be annoyed with Jane for blowing me off for some random dude,_ ” she thought, bitterly. She sighed and put on her tv and tried to cheer herself up. “Get a grip, Morgendorffer,” she said to herself, mindlessly surfing through the channels. “This is Jane we’re talking about. They’ll probably smash faces together for like a day and then she’ll move on,” She felt a bit better, now. Yes, all Jane needed to do was get this out of her system and then things would go back to normal. The cycle would continue to turn once more.

* * *

Almost a month passes, and things do _not_ go back to normal. 

Trent, as she figured, seemed to think that their assignment was optional and flaked out on it, leaving Daria to just use some default iMovie music preset as the background for it, since she was doing most of the editing.

Her and Trent talked after all was said and done, and he basically confirmed that he knew that she liked him the entire time. They “ _broke up_ ” so to speak, and Daria was fine with that. After all, she did conclude that they weren’t gonna be together like a week prior, so their relationship remained as amicable as it always was. If anything, she was more comfortable with Trent than ever, so that was a plus.

What _wasn’t_ a plus with Tom _still_ being around. Daria just didn’t understand why. Couldn’t he just go out with one of the girls from his fancy ass private school? But alas, Jane is too much of a catch, and he just _can’t_ let her be “ _the one that got away_ ”.

She had to be give the guy some credit. He was nice to her despite Daria showing him pure antipathy when they met. It would have stayed that way if he didn’t act like a total nice guy and confront her on her behavior. Yep, he just _had_ to corner her and _politely_ ask her to give him a chance so he could be with Jane, the jerk.

Jane valued Daria’s opinion; after all, Daria was her best friend. Daria shouldn’t be worried that Tom was taking Jane away from her, all Jane would talk about was Daria.... all things Tom told her to reassure her. Daria just sighed and apologized to him and agreed to at least _try_ to tolerate him, for Jane’s sake. She didn’t have to be his new best friend for life, but she tried to not throw him out the window (metaphorically speaking of course; Daria was much too lazy for that) whenever they found themselves in the same room. 

She didn’t want to be the reason Jane’s new relationship got strained, and she _didn’t_ want to lose her best friend _(and grip on sanity)_ over some random guy. 

“ _You’d have to be pretty stupid to think anything or anybody is going to shake your friendship with Jane,_ ” he told her that day. Those words repeated through her mind daily; when Jane would cancel plans to hang out with Tom, when she would see Jane sitting next to Tom, when Jane would bring up some thing Tom texted her that day.

She was getting nauseous at just _the thought_ of Tom at this point.

Tom was, admittedly, not the worst guy Jane could date. Daria couldn’t say things about him that didn’t sound too harsh, because there was nothing truly _that_ wrong about him. He was decent looking, had a cynical sense of humor, and was smart and liked to read. He was open and friendly, and got along well with people. Apparently, he was rich as well (Jane took a picture inside his house once) so that was great, she guessed. But despite all those positives, Tom was ultimately taking Jane’s time away from Daria, which was something that she simply could not forgive him for.

But as time went on in their relationship though, Jane began to complain about him much more often. She would say that he could be too egotistical or nonchalant about genuine issues in their relationship, or sometimes even _Jane_ would be the source of a particular problem.

Despite Daria wanting her to dump the guy and even would make comments insinuating that (the thought of it even made her a bit happy if she was being honest), she would always try to cheer Jane up when she needed it after they would have a fight. She could tell that their relationship was at heavy strain, but Jane would always find a way to make up with him. He even did some romantic gestures that were completely out of character for him, when they had a particularly intense argument, once - she forgave him anyway, much to Daria’s chagrin. “ _Just bare with it,_ ” she’d tell herself. “ _You don’t want to lose Jane.”_

After Jane said she couldn’t hang out with Daria because Tom called her to watch the latest horror flick one Friday, Daria told her it was cool despite particularly _seething_ on the inside. She was planning for her and Jane to watch it so they could point and laugh at the bad acting, but of course _Tom_ got to it first. She muttered a ‘bye’ when Jane went into his car and drove off, practically stomping on her way home.

When she got there, she slammed the door, rubbing her temples. She had a horrible migraine. She still didn’t understand why she couldn’t stand seeing Jane being with Tom so much, and it was literally killing her at this point.

She plopped herself on the couch, putting a pillow over her head. Her parents were busy taking the world by storm so they took overtime or went to work early much more often, lately. She sat there with her head pounding for a good ten minutes until she heard the front door open and some footsteps approach the couch. She guessed that was Quinn, and expected for her to turn right back around and go up the stairs until she felt the couch’s weight shift. 

“Daria?” Quinn lifted the pillow from her sister’s face. She flinched back, Daria’s expression was quite…. scary. “ _Yikes_ ,” Quinn cringed, “Someone needs a facial.”

“Sorry, Daria isn’t here right now. She’s lost consciousness and is making her way down to Hell.” Daria mumbled as she pulled the pillow back over her head. Quinn just rolled her eyes.

She had matured considerably over the year. She stopped dating guys for material things and decided to focus more on school stuff, after seeing how horrible her PSAT scores were (and unlike her friends, she wanted to get into a decent college so she could be a professional designer). She also put Sandi in her place much more often and learned to stand up to her, which made Sandi respect her _more_ , ironically. 

Before, she’d just get annoyed at her sister’s sarcasm and tell their mom to get Daria to get some sort of depression medication, but instead, she dug her nails through her palm to ground herself (Daria could be extremely frustrating sometimes) and waited for her to catch on that she wasn’t going to leave.

Daria eventually did, moving her pillow and sitting back completely, rubbing her temples again as Quinn stared at her.

“What’s up with you?” 

“Who are you, _mom_?” Daria quirked an eyebrow, and Quinn did the same. “You know mom’s too busy trying to convince _Eric_ to make her a partner to even consider asking you that,” She answered matter-of-factly, and Daria just sighed as Quinn’s expression turned serious once more.

“But seriously. What’s going on with you? Tons of people at school have noticed you and Jane are like, fighting more often now.” Daria raised both of her eyebrows. “People notice _us_ at school?” “Well, _duh_.” Quinn scoffed, as if even a monkey would know that. “There’s loads of rumors about you. Most of them are about you two being ‘ _secret girlfriends_ ’ going through a rough patch.” Quinn rolled her eyes, as she made invisible air quotes with her fingers.

Daria knew she shouldn’t have been too surprised; people loved to gossip at Lawndale. She knew that one asshole Evan made up a story on Instagram that her and Jane were dating after Jane ditched him and the track team (Li predictably did nothing and instead pinned the blame on Jane for even considering quitting the team in the first place), but she didn’t think those stories were still spreading. 

“Anyway, are you still jealous of that Tom guy?” Daria glared at her. “I am _not_ jealous of him,” she snarled quietly, and Quinn giggled until she realized that Daria wasn’t joking.

“Wait, you’re serious?” Daria nodded and stared at the blank TV, expecting the conversation to end there, but Quinn wasn’t giving up. She gave her sister an unimpressed look.

“Daria, come _on_. Are you _still_ acting like you aren’t in love with Jane?”

Daria blinked, sitting up properly now.

“ _What_?”

Quinn stared back at her, completely stone-faced. 

“Daria, like I said, _everyone_ knows.” She began to list off the rumors that she’s heard. “After all; when two girls hang out with each other and _only_ each other, dismissing and ignoring everyone else, then some rich kid comes into the mix and ruins their dynamic, everyone begins to pay attention. Especially when you guys have arguments in the hallway or at that pizza place.” Daria stared at Quinn as she completed her argument by shrugging her shoulders, and she was at a complete loss for words.

_What the fuck?_

Daria cleared her throat, and turned her whole body towards her sister’s. “Quinn, listen to me very, _very_ carefully. Have the fumes from your nail polish gone to your head? Do you need to go to a hospital? I’ve got 911 on speed dial,” She put her hands on Quinn’s shoulders, lightly shaking them.

“No, Daria,” Quinn said as calmly as possible. She was expecting her to react this way - even though everyone could see it, Daria always deflected from her true feelings. 

“Quinn, I’m _not_ in love with Jane.” 

“Daria, oh _Daria_ ,” Quinn shook her head pitifully, as if saying ‘ _you poor, poor idiot’_. “I know that, like, gay girls go through this sort of thing. You know, denying their sexuality and all that. Stacy said she did the same thing until she came out to us,” Quinn looked bored, inspecting her nails and wincing as she realized one of them were chipped. “But it’s the twenty first century, after all. You don’t have to hide it.”

Daria then shook her head. “I... I’m not hiding anything,” She stuttered, and Quinn just gave her another deadpan stare, rivaling Daria’s signature one. She sighed, knowing Daria would simply have to figure this one out on her own. 

“ _Uh huh_. You just keep telling yourself, that. But the more you deny it, the more obvious it is that you’re in love with her.” Before Daria could prove her point, Quinn stretched her arms out and got up from the couch, grabbing her phone so she could go upstairs. “Just... think about it.” She patted Daria’s shoulder as if to say, “ _Good luck, kid_ ”, got up, and left. 

Daria was utterly stunned, her world as she knew it turned completely upside down within seconds by her normally self obsessed little sister, of all people.

 _“Did Quinn just deconstruct my entire sexuality?”_ Daria thought aloud, and sat there for a few more minutes alone.

* * *

Daria didn’t eat dinner. She just told her parents that she was too tired when they eventually came home. Her mom and father looked at each other with concern when Daria reached the top of the stairs, but decided to leave her well enough alone.

She didn’t get much sleep that night either. She was too busy thinking about what Quinn said earlier that day. She hated that what she pointed out was bothering her this much.

There was simply no way she was in love with Jane. She _couldn’t_ be. The thought was crazy. _Preposterous_ , she dared to say.

She couldn’t have been in love with the way Jane adorably stuck her tongue out when she was focusing on a new project and couldn’t be disturbed or she’d lose that spark of inspiration, or how she lowered her voice when she would comfort Daria in her unique little way, or how determined she got when she had a goal or wanted to prove someone wrong about their perceptions of her or her family. 

It _certainly_ wasn’t strange how seeing Jane with a guy who clearly wasn’t right for her always put her in a bad mood. Or how happy Jane’s laughter made her, as if it were a song on the radio; (especially when Daria was the one to cause it), or much she loved her perfume, and her’s alone; how it made Daria feel like she was wrapped in a warm blanket when it would fill her nostrils, or how unapologetic Jane was when it came to being herself and making her artwork.

She _absolutely_ didn’t think Jane was cute she was when she was annoyed when someone decided to end her adventures to Dreamland much earlier than she planned, or how she did a happy dance when Daria decided to share her coffee with her. 

It was always normal to her how she had numerous thoughts in the back of her head of how much she loved seeing Jane smile, how she wanted to run her hand though her short dark black hair, hold her hand, and _kiss her,_ and....

Daria sat up quickly, finally coming to the horrifying conclusion. It felt like a light bulb went off in her head, but also like three runaway trains crashed into her all at the same time.

_Oh no._

She _was_ in love with Jane. 

_Quinn was right._

Fuck, _Quinn_ was _right_?!?

“ _Of course I was_ ,” Quinn voice sang mockingly in her head. Daria groaned, and resisted the urge to scream into her pillow. 

She ran a hand through her hair, grabbing her glasses, and she suddenly had a massive headache.

 _What the hell was she gonna do now?_

Of course, the one time she falls in love with someone, it’s her best friend.

The one person she sees herself completely miserable without.

The one person who’s aggressively likely to be straight.

Jane has made comments about girls before, but Daria had always thought she was just kidding. Jane did have a habit of messing with people, and that’s why her and Daria got along so well.

_“Why did this type of crap have to happen to me?”_

This was the type of stuff that would happen on those chick flicks she never even bothered to watch. 

_How the fuck was it happening in real life?_

Daria was on the verge of an anxiety attack. She knew she had to do something and the " _Am I a Lesbian_ " Buzzfeed-esque quizzes and Yahoo Answers articles she was looking up were not much help.

Not knowing who to talk to, she surprised herself by sending Jodie a message on Twitter, despite it being 1 in the morning.

@ _yourlocalcynic_ : Jodie, hey. I know it’s late, but I’m kinda having a mini crisis right now.

She was expecting for Jodie to be asleep, or to just not bother to respond until she got an answer nearly 20 seconds later.

 _@classrepjo_ : no problem daria, i was up doing some school stuff anyway. i was about to go to sleep, what’s up? everything okay?

Daria sighed to herself as she worked out what she was gonna say in her head. Somehow admitting her entire sexuality crisis didn’t seem like the most appropriate thing to do, but she was desperate.

 _yourlocalcynic_ : I think I’m in love with-

She crossed that out, opting for a subtler approach. 

_yourlocalcynic_ : I have feelings for another girl, and I don’t know how to deal with it.

Daria bit her lip, hoping that Jodie wouldn’t judge her. They weren’t exceptionally close, but Daria and Jodie always had some level of respect for each other. She quickly learned that she was one of the few students in their school that bothered to learn; but wasn’t allowed the same freedom to be openly cynical that Daria had. She’s always hoped that Jodie would allow herself to be free of her parents (and her own) high standards and expectations, since she was one of the few black people in Lawndale and she knew she had big shoes to fill because of that.

A few more seconds go by, And Jodie was still typing her response, making Daria more nervous. Daria jumped after her phone chimed with the notification.

 _classrepjo:_ oh, there’s nothing wrong with that, daria

 _classrepjo:_ i’ll be honest, ive been struggling with sexuality stuff too

 _classrepjo:_ you comfortable with sharing the girl’s name with me? if not, that’s cool

 _yourlocalcynic:_ No, I’m sorry, I’m still coming to terms with it after all.

 _classrepjo:_ no worries _*smiley face emoji*_

 _classrepjo:_ anyways, like i said, it’s normal to question things like that. we’re lucky enough to be living in a much more accepting time. do you think you’re bi, or....

Daria paused. She never really thought of that. She went back to her thought process a few weeks ago, and how she never truly liked a guy before. At least, not as much as she likes Jane.

 _yourlocalcynic:_ I’m not trying to put a label on it, but I think I’m gay. Maybe. I don’t know, this stuff is really confusing.

 _classrepjo:_ oh, i hear that lol but tbh, there’s no need to rush in putting a label on yourself

 _classrepjo:_ if saying you’re a lesbian makes you feel comfortable, then go for it.

 _classrepjo:_ if it doesn’t, then just go by whatever feels right to you. you don’t owe anyone anything

 _classrepjo:_ but back onto the mysterious girl you mentioned. how long have you liked her?

Daria smiled as she typed,

 _yourlocalcynic:_ For as long as I’ve known her, I think. I just realized it, though. So about a year.

That probably made it way too obvious, but Jodie was nice enough not to point that out.

 _classrepjo:_ i see. okay, the best thing for you to do is be honest with her about how you feel

 _classrepjo:_ if the girl has a boyfriend (hypothetically) id sit her down and have a conversation about it, but respecting the fact that she might not like you back, even though it’s probably extremely unlikely

 _classrepjo:_ you know hypothetically of course

 _yourlocalcynic:_ But, (hypothetically), if this crush was straight, wouldn’t this put permanent damage to the friendship?

 _classrepjo:_ i highly doubt that

 _classrepjo:_ if you and this girl are best friends, she surely wouldn’t let something like this destroy your relationship 

_classrepjo:_ you can’t help who you fall in love with after all

Daria sighed. What Jodie was saying made complete sense, but she was still anxious about the whole thing. What if Jane hated her? What if she saw her as a freak and never spoke to her again? Her head was starting to hurt again, so she did what she did best - made it Future Daria’s problem.

 _yourlocalcynic:_ Thank you, Jodie. I’ll try my best.

 _classrepjo:_ no problem, daria. im always here if you need to vent about it

 _classrepjo:_ if you feel comfortable

 _yourlocalcynic:_ I know. I’ll keep that in mind.

 _classrepjo:_ good. *smiley face emoji*

 _classrepjo:_ im going to bed now, but i hope you have a good night

 _yourlocalcynic:_ Thanks, you too. Good night, Jodie.

 _classrepjo:_ :)

 _classrepjo:_ oh, and btw, you and jane will get through this. she cares about you much more than you know. i can tell :)

 _classrepjo:_ night

Daria studied the messages, before just shaking her head and smiling. Of course Jodie figured it out. She was always a pretty bright person. She fell asleep, feeling slightly better. 

* * *

May eventually rolls around, making it about two weeks since Daria opted for doing nothing about her feelings, despite them lurking and threatening to boil over below the surface. Daria never kept things from Jane, so hiding something as big as a secret crush was nearly fucking impossible. Jane knew her better than anyone, so of course she kept giving her weird and concerned looks because of Daria’s weird shift in attitude.

She could tell Quinn was getting annoyed, because she would always roll her eyes whenever Jane would arrive (with Tom of course) at their house to hang out. She’d widen her eyes, pointing to Jane when her back was turned, and would mouth, “ _What the hell are you waiting for_?!?” Daria of course, would ignore her as Quinn would sigh dramatically and walk away. Hell, even _Tom_ started to take notice, and randomly began to buy her an extra slice of pizza to be kind, which had the opposite effect and made make her even more annoyed with him. “ _Please don’t feel the need to act like a saint in front of your girlfriend. You’re making this whole situation harder for me_ ,” she thought, but would mumble a ‘thanks’, instead.

Daria knew she wasn’t handling this situation well. But she was never good at discussing feelings, especially her own. She’s never dealt with anything this big, so she felt like distancing herself from Jane was the best thing she could do, even though she knew it wasn’t. It hurt her, but after Jane broke up with Tom finally, she could let go of this.. _thing_ that’s happening with her, and everything would finally be normal again.

* * *

On that Friday, Jane began to really think about Daria’s behavior. Something has been up with her for the past few weeks. Daria was never a talkative person, but she cut down on a lot of the remarks she used to make over that 14 day period. She completely stopped making comments about Tom, which surprised her; she knew Daria wasn’t a fan of his no matter how much she tried to hide it. Daria seemed more aloof than normal (which was saying something) since the day she went to see that horror movie with Tom, which wasn’t even good, by the way. 

Over those two weeks, Jane found herself getting annoyed with Tom more and more, and they were fighting more frequently over the most stupid of things. Probably because Tom suggested watching such a dumb fucking movie.

In all honesty, she found herself wanting to hang with Daria and like being with Tom was more of a chore.

After Daria forgot, _again_ , to make a jab at Kevin’s expense, Jane stopped her in the middle of the hall. 

“…Jane, what’s up? We gotta get to class,” Daria said, pointing in the direction of their next destination. Jane said nothing, and just lifted the back of her hand and put it to Daria’s head to examine her temperature. 

“Uh...” Daria stood there nervously, and Jane told her to relax. Kinda hard for her to do that as her mind was running a mile a minute.

“ _Too close, too close! Sympathetic nervous system, be sympathetic to me right now and please don’t make me start blushing_ ,” Daria practically screamed in her head, squeezing her eyes shut and resisting the urge to cover her face as Jane came closer to examine her, their noses almost touching. The urge to lean up and kiss her was almost unbearable. After Jane was done being a nurse assistant in training, she pulled back and withdrew her hand.

“Not too warm. Was worried we were gonna have a repeat of that time when you ended up in the hospital,” Jane smiled, but dropped it when she noticed how Daria was purposely avoiding her gaze and how her cheeks were extremely flushed, making her even more confused. 

“Dar, everything okay?” Daria just nodded, trying to sound convincing as she willed herself to stop blushing. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” Jane gave her a look. “Well, Kevin just asked what kind of animal was the Pink Panther and you didn’t even bother to make a comment on how society is fucked with him as a future leader,” she pointed out. 

Daria just shrugged it off. “Eh. Not in the mood to remind myself how stupid certain people in our generation are.” Jane raised an eyebrow, and Daria continued to sweat under her gaze. Luckily, the warning bell rang, signaling that they only had about 50 seconds to get to class. Jane frowned. She knew Daria would be pissed at her if she made them late, so she dropped the subject. “Whatever you say, kid. But we’re continuing this conversation later.” Daria let out a small breath of relief when Jane wasn’t looking, she was saved by the bell. _Literally_. 

Jane kept trying to see what was wrong with Daria throughout the day, but Daria kept giving her nonchalant, dismissive answers. She could tell Jane was getting irritated, but she still wasn’t ready to tell Jane anything. 

She eventually gave up by the end of the day, knowing Daria would probably cave and tell her eventually. She was the type of person that you had to have immense patience with when it came to her own feelings.

“....So anyway, you wanna come by today? Trent said the band was gonna try and go for a ‘pop punk’ vibe to appeal to more people, and I know you’re in the need for some laughter,” Jane offered in passing after classes ended for the day. Daria almost agreed immediately; seeing Trent and his bandmates try and be some _Fall Out Boy_ rip-off or something would have been hilarious. But she knew that being in an environment that close with Jane, where people could perceive their relationship, would have set off someone in the room’s gaydar or something. Trent’s mates may not have been the brightest bulbs in the bunch, but her paranoia was screaming at her to say no at the slim ( _nonexistent_ ) chance that someone in that room would judge her. 

“I would love that, actually,” Daria began, and Jane smiled. 

“But, mom’s been really busy at the office so she asked me to help organize some house stuff... Sorry. Maybe another time?” 

Jane‘s face fell. 

That sentence was extremely strange to her. She’s known the Morgendorffer clan long enough to pick up on how particular Helen got about stuff like that. If one thing was in the wrong place, she’d have a meltdown. So it didn’t seem very like her to ask Daria for help on that, but she decided to just let it go.

“Um... yeah, sure. I’ll tell the band to hold off on their latest attempts until the next time you pop up.” Daria smiled and thanked her, grateful Jane didn’t pry even though she clearly wanted to. “ _Stop being so considerate, damn it! I‘m already head over heels with you or whatever people say, you don’t need to make it worse by being a sweet person, Lane!”_ Daria screamed in her head, while Jane kept staring at her as they walked. 

_“Something is clearly up, here. Did I do something? Is Daria.... avoiding me? I mean, she was always shy around Trent, but this is ridiculous. She‘s stopped being all ~weird~ around him for a while as well, so her little crush thing can’t be why she doesn’t want to come over. I’m gonna get to the bottom of this, Morgendorffer. Just you wait.”_

* * *

Jane gave a quick “bye” in the direction of Daria’s standing figure outside her walkway as she turned the doorknob and set foot into her house, surprisingly exhausted. She didn’t realize how much this situation was stressing her out. Since she was planning on Daria hanging with her today, she told Tom to come see her tomorrow earlier, so she had nothing to do. Jane knew it was weird that she was more depressed at her plans with Daria being ruined than she was at having to blow off her boyfriend, but she tried not to think about it and put on her headphones, going to paint instead. 

She got about 5 strokes in before Daria ran through her mind again. The thought of Daria being pissed at her made her heartache, something she tried to shrug off as just the pain of the idea of losing her best and only true friend, even though she _knew_ it was different than that. She found herself walking to Trent’s room, who was (surprisingly) not half dead. 

She looked at him in shock. “Woah, what are _you_ doing awake?” Trent looked up from his laptop and smiled at her. “Hey, Janey. I was gonna sleep after you told me to cancel the Spiral’s meeting for today, but I just remembered to upload our latest track to SoundCloud. We got, like, 2000 hits on our last one.” He said proudly. “Minus the hate comments we got. Otherwise, it was a major win,” he joked, but dropped his smile when he saw the big frown on Jane’s face.

Contrary to popular belief, Trent could actually be pretty perceptive. Since their parents opted for ‘hands off’ parenting they practically raised each other. So in his opinion, he’s become a bit of a master at picking up when Jane was upset about something. He moved his computer from his lap, looking around her. “What’s up? Where’s Daria?” He was expecting her to be hiding behind her. “You never _did_ tell me why to cancel the meeting today, either.”

Jane scoffed, looking away from him and crossing her arms. “Daria said she had to help her mom with some stuff at home. I wanted both of us to see you and the band go through your ‘experimental phase’. 

Trent blinked. “Oh.”

Jane took that as an invitation for her to begin ranting. 

“ _God_ , I mean, for the past couple weeks, every time when I just wanna hang out with her and her alone, no Tom, no idiots from school, just me and my _amiga_ -she’s busy. ‘ _Whoops, gotta make sure my dad doesn’t have an aneurysm over some childhood memory he repressed. Rain check! Gotta babysit Quinn even though she’s one year younger than me._ Or, ‘ _Sorry! Mom is making me clean all the pocket lint from my clothes!’_ ” Jane said monotonously, imitating Daria the best way she could. 

“It’s so frustrating! It’s like, we don’t even have time for each other anymore. I know we don’t have to be around each other 24/7, but this is ridiculous.” She paced around Trent’s room, as he remained silent. “What do you think, Trent? Hasn’t Daria been acting weird, lately?” 

Trent nodded. 

“Yeah, she has been acting weird.” 

“See, I’m glad someone else sees it-“ 

“But _you’ve_ been acting weird, too.” 

They stood in silence for a while, before Jane made a gesture for him to elaborate.

“I mean, when someone calls you and it isn’t Daria, your face drops. It’s subtle, but it’s there. Even when it’s Tom, you aren’t nearly as happy when talking with him or opening the door and seeing that it’s him instead of her. Look at you now, in fact. You’re pissed because Daria’s been taking rain checks. You _miss_ her.”

He took a sip of the Redbull that he had for God knows how long on the floor next to his bed. 

“Although, that’s not the weird part here. The weird part is you dating Tom to get over Daria.” Trent burped quietly, and laid down on his bed.

“Wait, wait, _wait_.” Jane held her hands out, and was shaking her head in confusion. “You think I dated Tom because of _Daria_?” Trent nodded, and chuckled internally at the baffled look on his sister’s face.

“Janey, I don’t think that, I _know_ it. You’re always talking about her, you love being with her, and you both got along from the minute you met at that self esteem class, based on what you’ve told me.” Jane resisted the urge to smile as she thought back on how much her and Daria had bonded back then. She even helped her barricade the front door of their house, in case the mortgage collectors care around. They were near strangers then, and now she couldn’t even imagine her life without Daria in it in some way.

Snapping Jane out of her reverie, Trent continued. 

“Anyway, I picked up on it, so did Jesse, Max, and Nick. You know, when they’re actually aware of what’s going on,” He yawned, as if he were just telling her the fucking weather. “I mean, he’s basically Daria but more of a preppy. Come on. Both are smart, sarcastic… I’m sure _you_ know more of the common traits than I do. It would be hard _not_ to connect the dots.” Trent raised an eyebrow at her, and Jane stood there, taking in everything Trent said.

First off, the fact that he could handle a conversation of this length without falling asleep was simply remarkable.

Secondly, she couldn’t deny the fact that he was, well, kind of right.

Daria and Tom had a lot of similarities. A _scary amount of similarities_ , in fact.

If she was being honest with herself, she’s always knew that deep down, she’s had a small amount of attraction for Daria. In terms of looks, Daria was cute. Not a _knockout_ , but Jane always admired how little Daria cared about superficial things. She wore glasses, her jacket did not correspond with her black skirt whatsoever, and she purposely put up a “ _don’t fuck with me_ ” vibe that isolated her from their classmates. Daria’s appearance initially intrigued Jane, but her personality is what truly made Jane start paying attention.

Jane usually kept to herself just like her, and initially just wrote her off as another smart kid after she showed DeMartino up on her first day. But after she ended up in that self-esteem class with her, Jane slowly started realizing the fact that she _finally_ found someone on her wavelength, someone who grasped her sense of humor, and someone with whom she could mock the world while it was burning to the ground. It was something she had always wanted.

As time went on, she began to notice the little things about Daria - her friend got flustered quite easily, so in good conscience, Jane would exploit that (it was too cute not to). When her and Daria were studying, she’d scrunch her nose and pout softly when she didn’t understand a question. When she would wait for Jane outside of a class, she’d tap her feet and hum one of her favorite songs to herself when she thought no one was looking. 

She noticed how even though Daria rarely smiled, her dark brown eyes would brighten just the tiniest bit when she saw Jane in the morning, as if she was surprised that she would still come there to pick her up. 

She noticed how unbelievably insecure Daria was, despite trying her hardest to be above all of that and hold herself up high, and how much she would hate herself for making the tiniest mistake. How she would be grateful when Jane would compliment her, and how her cheeks were always the slightest red when she’d mumble a barely heard ‘ _thank you’_ ”.

She noticed how much Daria loved her family, despite their many faults and how much she complained about them - and how much she cared about Jane, too. She also noticed how vulnerable Daria truly was and how she expressed that with jealousy and sarcasm; because of how afraid she was to confront the fact that she was scared to be abandoned by the people she cared about.

All those things compiled made it obvious that Jane did like the auburn-haired girl, and she had for a while. She knew that. 

But she also knew how high Daria’s standards were. 

Jane knew she could never live up to them. Daria and she were similar, but Daria had a lot of things Jane didn’t - two active parents (even if Helen and Jake were both barely functional in their own ways), a stable house, good grades in all her classes, a _future_. 

She didn’t feel insecure in their friendship; She knew Daria saw her as an equal and they both had respect for each other, even if it went unsaid. But the keyword there was _friendship_. Daria outright sucked at showing emotions. Jane knew that, hell, Daria _herself_ knew and acknowledged that. They went into their friendship being fine with not saying “ _I love you,_ ” from time to time because as far as Jane was concerned, she knew Daria cared about her. Her behavior during the Tom situation was basically Daria screaming that at her. Jane wasn’t the best at being lovey-dovey herself.

But for them to date... her mind didn’t even want her to go there. It was uncharted territory. Not because Jane thought _she_ was straight, Jane has known she liked girls since she was a kid essentially (she was just never really into the ones that lived here) but there was one glaring issue:

Daria _had to be_ straight. She identified as straight, and even though she didn’t like Trent anymore and wasn’t open around guys their age, Jane was confident in this belief.

She had caught Daria staring at her from time to time, but she’d quickly turn away like nothing happened, so she didn’t think much of it. She’d wipe her face, thinking something was on it and that’s why Daria was staring and would move on with her day. 

So, because of her not wanting to be the stereotype of a ‘ _predatory bisexual_ ’ because of her crush on Daria, she did the most mature and adult thing her subconscious could come up with:

Liked a guy who was _close enough_ to be Daria, without even truly registering how uncanny the whole situation was.

“Yeah, you’re right about Tom. He is... basically a male Daria,” 

_“But much less interesting_ ,” she thought, sighing. 

Tom was a sweet guy and all, but the more she thought about it, the less she wanted to date him. It felt more like their dates were verbal _WWE_ matches. Not on the level that Kevin and Brittany were at, but they were getting pretty damn close. 

A voice from inside her had been screaming for her to break up with him for a while now, and it sounded eerily like one certain wisecracking girl with glasses bigger than half her face.

She liked Daria. This didn’t scare her, if anything, finally coming to terms with it made a huge weight lift from her shoulders. 

She sat on Trent’s bed, letting out the breath she didn’t even realize she was holding. He wrapped an arm around her, comforting her as best as he could. Jane took care of Trent a lot of the time, but he had his moments, too. 

“So, what do you think I should do?” Jane said quietly, her eyes showing a bit of hopelessness. Trent just smiled, giving her a thoughtful look. “I think you should do what your heart is telling you to.” He pointed to her chest, and she punched his arm, chuckling. “That’s so cheesy, Trent.” He laughed back, and coughed a few times. “But seriously, what do _you_ think you should do?” Jane laid back and sighed.

“Well, I’m definitely breaking up with Tom, I’m sure of that. I’ll probably talk to Daria, too. I still need to figure out why she’s pissed at me.” Trent wanted to tell her he was positive Daria wasn’t mad at her, and that he knew exactly why Daria was behaving strangely lately, but he just nodded. He gently nudged Jane in the right direction; everything was up to the two of them at this point.

Jane left the room so that he could sleep (he looked like he was about to pass out; Trent could only handle a 5-minute conversation, so she was impressed that he held out this long) and decided to text Tom, asking if they could meet up soon. Breaking up with him through text seemed way too cruel.

 _jane:_ hey, can we meet up and talk later

Tom shocked her by responding almost immediately.

 _tom:_ yeah, sure. ive gotta do some posturing stuff with my family at the country club but after that ill be free lol

 _tom:_ thought you were hanging with daria today, tho. you guys doing okay?

Jane frowned at that. She almost forgot about the bs excuse Daria gave her. 

_jane:_ yeah, she’s just helping helen clean up their place

 _tom:_ oh okay

 _tom:_ my place or yours?

 _jane:_ neither. just the park

Jane wondered if he’d think that it was strange that she didn’t want to talk at either of their houses, but he didn’t mention it.

 _tom_ : ok

 _tom:_ i have something important to tell you too so we’ll lay it all out then

 _tom:_ ill pick you up soon

* * *

Jane felt mildly anxious when an hour passed and she heard her doorbell ring. She wore something casual; she didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. They made small talk when she got in his car and drove to the park, but it didn't ease her slight feeling of guilt.

As they reached a park bench, and Jane took a sharp inhale, getting ready to speak. She didn’t know how to proceed with this; she liked Tom, she didn’t want to end this horribly. He just gave her a reassuring smile, as if he knew what she was gonna say.

“…. Um, so.... Tom. I think.... us.... me and you. This isn’t-“

“Working?” He finished for her, an eyebrow raised. 

“…. Yeah.” She looked at him awkwardly. He just nodded.

“Okay.”

Wait. 

“‘ _Okay_ ’? I just ended an almost two-month relationship with you and all you have to say is ‘ _Okay_ ’?!” She glared at him.

Yeah, she wasn’t into him anymore, but the man could at least _act_ like he cared. He put his hands up so she could relax, and before she could continue with her rant, he interjected.

“I already knew!”

She blinked.

 _“Huh?_ ” She tilted her head in confusion. He just chuckled lightly. “Jane, I had a feeling that’s why you called me here. That’s why I said okay. Not because I didn’t care about our relationship, you know that’s not true.” 

She said nothing, and he looked at her expectantly, his look saying, “ _Well_?” 

She sighed and nodded. “Yeah. I mean…Look, Tom, I like you. You’re a good guy, and anyone who dates you would be super lucky to have you. I had tons of fun with you and I don’t regret it, either. But....” she trailed off. He smiled at her again. “Jane, it’s cool. I’m not angry with you. I was actually gonna say we should take a break, but just breaking up completely would be better for the both of us. Especially Daria.”

She nodded, glad he saw it her way.

“Exactly, it wou-” She paused.

“Wait, what does Daria have to do with this?” 

Tom just gave her a tired look. “Jane... I’ve known you and her have had some weird thing going on since we met, basically.” He shrugged. “Didn’t question it, since you guys are best friends. But every time we’d hang out, the conversation would always shift to her, somehow. I tried to write it off as you just wanting to show how cool Daria is so we could get along. But then I noticed how you’d look at her sometimes, then it all started to make sense.”

He gave her a small smile. “But honestly? I think you should go for it,” Tom advised. “She seems to be into you. I mean, she’s completely hated me ever since we started dating.” 

Jane shook her head, trying to deny it.

“That‘s not....” He gave her a look. “Okay, yeah. She did hate you. But she turned it down a lot, if that helps.” He chuckled, nodding a bit. “Yeah, I’ve noticed that the sarcastic comments directed towards me have died down significantly. But she definitely did it for your sake, though.” He said thoughtfully, and Jane blushed a bit. “She could be caring when she wants to be,” she whispered, more to herself. Tom heard her, but said nothing. They sat like that for a while, until Jane cleared her throat.

“So, that’s it then, right? It’s over?”

Tom blinked. “Huh. I guess it is.”

"Didn’t go as horrible as I feared, to be honest.” Jane said, and Tom stood up, giving Jane a half smile. “Eh, I wasn’t too worried. I knew you would take it well. You’re pretty awesome, Jane.” She smirked, standing up herself. “And don’t you forget it, Sloane.” She said, imitating a military grunt. They shared a laugh, and Jane felt calmer than she had in weeks. She was a little sad, but she knew this was the right decision. 

Tom drove her back home, and told her not to become a stranger and that they could still hang out whenever she wanted to, even if they were just friends. She said thank you, and told him that whenever movie prices were going up that he would surely be first on her invite list. He laughed, and waved goodbye from his car, speeding off.

Jane sighed as she turned her key, and walked up the stairs. Trent was asleep, and she decided to order some food with some leftover money her parents gave her the last time they were home.

“I could text Daria now. Get this settled today,” Jane proposed, but then she yawned. Or, I could stuff my face with pizza and pass out, Trent style.” She went with the second option the minute the doorbell rang. “Eh, too much drama for one day. I’ll go there tomorrow.” she thought, as she opened the door and ran up, her mind finally clear enough to paint again.

* * *

Speaking of Daria, she still felt awful for blowing Jane off. 

She tried to read, but all that would come up in her head were doubts about their friendship and how she was making things harder than necessary. She took off her glasses, rubbing her eyes. ‘ _Why couldn’t I just have listened to Jodie? Or even Quinn? I hate to take Quinn’s advice, but at least this would have been taken care of by now._ ” 

She resorted to writing out her feelings to try and get this feeling out of her system.

She’s tried writing stories with her loved ones involved more often after O’Neill gave her that “ _special_ ” assignment, but she’s never written... _romantic_ stuff. Even back when she ‘liked’ Trent or just with fictional characters, she’s never been invested or any good at writing that kind of thing. “ _First time for everything, l guess,_ ” She thought, as she grabbed a pen from her desk and placed her journal on her lap.

“ _Time for some wish fulfillment_.”

She began to write whatever came to mind. Most of it were typical, and too cheesy for her standards; but they managed to make her blush anyway. One of the scenarios she came up with were of two girls who were strikingly like her and Jane, and they were holding hands, kissing, even... getting married. All the typical fluff nonsense that she would usually mock in movies was now sitting in front of her, written in her own handwriting. She cringed and covered her face, embarrassed, as if someone else were in the room judging her.

“ _This was stupid. I’m literally writing fan fiction of me and my best friend. Nice one, Morgendorffer,” _she thought, chastising herself for being so damn pathetic. “So much for this idea,” she complained, sighing and rereading some of her other pieces she wrote inspired by her hopeless pining, drawing in between the margins of each page.

Just then, she heard a quiet knock on her door. “Quinn, I’ve told you a thousand times already, I didn’t take your ‘ _oh so special_ ’ phone case that Brad got you. Check that pile in your room with the rest of your gifts,” she called, hoping her sister would go away. She did remember hearing four footsteps instead of two near her door, though.

“Not Quinn, honey. It’s me and your father. We brought you some dinner,” Helen said, still waiting by the door. “Oh,” Daria said, moving to hide her journal. She didn’t want them questioning anything, so she threw it and silently prayed it would reach her desk. It didn’t, and she winced at the noise it made when it fell, but her room was messy anyway so her parents probably wouldn’t notice. 

“Come in.” Daria uttered quietly, grabbing the book she was reading earlier so they wouldn’t think she looked weird just sitting with a pen in her hand. Helen and Jake gave her a caring smile as they peeked their heads in, showing the food that they brought (which was shockingly _not_ lasagna? Always a treat in this house).

Daria motioned toward her desk, basically saying “just leave it there,” expecting them to go back to their work or whatever it was that her parents did. Instead, Helen sat on the bed with her while Jake stood next to it.

“No, I’m not going to go to any party Quinn is to check up on her, even if you pay me,” she said automatically, pretending to read.

Jake laughed awkwardly. “No, kiddo. That’s not why we’re here.”

“Your father and I just wanted to know…how are you, Daria?” Helen asked, and gave Daria her signature ‘ _I’m worried about you_ ’ look. Her dad was doing the same. 

“You’ve been quite distant, lately… I mean, much more than usual.” Jake said, and Daria was honestly shocked that he even noticed, but waved it off.

“Oh, don’t worry guys. Everything is great. The kids at school still barely talk to me, one of my favorite libraries is closing down, and I’ve got a 10-page paper due in like three days. So, you know, things are looking up in Lawndale.” Helen sighed, knowing her daughter was trying to avoid talking to them.

“Okay, honey. Whenever you’re ready to tell us, we’ll be ready to listen.” Jake gave her a look, and she silently told him to just go with it. They went to leave the room, and Daria chewed her lip. She was never one to talk to her parents, but maybe... they could help her. “Wait!” Daria grimaced at how desperate her voice sounded, but sighed.

“I’m just....” She started awkwardly, not knowing how to talk about this situation she put herself in. “Say... you um. Like someone,” she proposed a hypothetical scenario, hoping they wouldn’t catch on. Jake and Helen just nodded, listening. “So, you like this person. And you care about them a lot, but you’re scared of losing them because you... _like_... them. You know, in _that_ way.” She blushed a bit, and her parents look of confusion left their faces. “..But they like someone else, and telling them could completely damage the friendship you both have built up. What do you do?”

“Well, honey. I would be completely honest with them,” Helen said, and Daria sighed. That’s what _everyone_ has told her to do _._ Helen continued, though. “And truthfully, they might reject me. But you- _I_ , know that rejection is just a part of life. Sometimes, we don’t get the answers we want to hear. And that’s okay. It’s always admirable to put yourself out there and be vulnerable with others, even if it is horrifying to do. Remembering that is what would help me go through with it, personally.” 

Jake nodded. “I agree with your mother. My dad always told me showing emotions was for wimps, but I don’t want you to grow up thinking that way - what matters is that you have people to back you up, and you always will.” Daria was shocked - Jake could bring up his dad without going into a rant and making it about himself? Was this the _Twilight Zone_? 

“Um, thank you, mom.... dad. I’ll be sure to remember that.” She gave her a small smile, and they smiled back. “We’re glad, sweetie. But again, if you ever need to talk, we’ll always take time out of our schedules for you.” 

“Oh? I thought justice never sleeps?” Daria quipped, and Helen chuckled. “She doesn’t, but her customers can wait. Her daughter is much more important.”

They closed Daria’s door and Helen quietly praised Jake for being so interactive with their daughter (it really was an impressive feat) who ate her food quietly while scrolling on her phone, trying to distract herself again.

She got an ad on a “ _legal_ ” pdf site for some books she wanted to read, saying “How to Confess to the _LOVE_ of _YOUR_ Life - _WITHOUT_ spontaneously combusting! A Guide for the Teens of Today!” Daria looked at her phone in disbelief. It seemed like everyone knew her inner turmoil at this point.

“Fine, world. I get it, you can stop now. I’m gonna confess, okay?” She refreshed the page, and the ad was gone. 

If there was a God, he certainly had an annoying sense of humor.

She had to admit, it had to happen eventually. When even her mom (and dad, of all people) have taken notice, you know it’s becoming a problem.

“I’ll go there tomorrow. I’m sure Jane would be thrilled if I just popped up at her place.” 

She sighed. “Especially since I’ve been avoiding her for so long… It needs to stop now. You can tell it’s bad because I’m talking to myself again.”

She finished her food, and got her journal, again. She started a new entry _,_ which was surprisingly much easier to write. _~~Just as gay as the other ones, though.~~_ ~~~~

* * *

The night goes by fast, and the sun shines through Daria’s curtains and right into her face, basically yelling at her to wake up. She groans and closes her blinds, and remembered the promise she made to herself. 

Today, she could either lose a friend or end up with a girlfriend. The former seemed much more likely, but she couldn’t keep keeping Jane in the dark. “ _Yay me_ ,” she whined, putting her blanket over her face. 

Jane, who was admirably (if she said so herself) able to wake up before 12pm, got up much more quickly in comparison. She wanted to confess to Daria before she got those dumb butterflies in her stomach and chickened out. She took a shower and got dressed, wondering if she should text her but decided to just surprise her instead. She didn’t want Daria to flake on her again, and besides, Daria probably had nothing better to do. It was a Saturday morning after all. She grabbed a slice of pizza from the table and left, leaving a note for Trent in case he woke up before the next millennia. 

While eating breakfast after taking a soothing bath, Daria heard the doorbell ring. Normally her dad would get it, but he wasn’t home. Jake and Helen went to work early again after patting themselves on the back for talking to Daria for once; Her mom with actual work, her dad trying to _get_ work. Daria opened her phone to text Quinn; she was too lazy to go upstairs to ask if it was for her. 

_daria_ : Quinn, did you schedule a date at this hour? The doorbell’s ringing.

 _quinn_ : no lol. you know fully well that it takes me like an hour to get ready. why would i schedule a date like 30 minutes after i wake up in the morning

 _quinn:_ and besides, im not home you big dummy. fashion club sleepover, remember? 

_daria:_ Right. Forgot about that. It’s probably those Girl Scouts, again.

 _quinn:_ oooh if it is get me a pack of thin mints

 _daria:_ No.

 _quinn:_ wtf

Daria chuckled until she remembered that there was some impatient nine-year-old on the other side of the door, and went to open it. 

She was more than a little surprised to see _Jane_ standing there, staring back at her, to say the least.

“ _Fuck, what is she doing here? I was gonna go by her place after rehearsing my ‘you may hate me after this, but’ speech! I’m not ready for this now!”_ Daria panicked, before realizing they were just standing that the front door for like 30 seconds in complete silence. 

”...Hey...” Daria settled on saying, and played with the seam of her green jacket, feeling extremely awkward. She really wasn’t anticipating for Jane to even be awake right now, let alone at her house. She already knew why Jane was there, but having to confront it without even getting to finish her pop-tart was scaring her.

“Hi, um... can we talk?” Jane looked nervous as well.

Daria was fidgeting nervously, but nodded, moving to let her in. 

“Wait a minute, what are you doing awake?” Daria questioned, and Jane chuckled.

“I was just so excited to see you, my dear. I put you before my love for sleeping. You should feel proud.” Jane joked, and Daria blushed slightly but laughed in that modest way she always did. She was happy they were doing their typical back and forth banter; it’s been a while since they have with Tom being around.

After the joke died down, the tension in the air returned. Jane ran a hand through her hair, sighing.

“Look, Dar. I know something is up. You’ve been acting weird for a while now, and I wanna know why. Are you mad at me? Did I do something? You know I value our friendship, right?”

Daria nodded. “Of course I know that. You know I value it, too. I’m not mad at you.”

“Then why have you been avoiding me?” Jane crossed her arms.

“Jane, I’m not trying to avoid you. It’s just...” Daria began, and looked away from Jane. 

“‘It’s just’....?” Jane repeated, waited her to continue. Daria groaned and turned her entire body away, not knowing what to say. Or rather, not knowing how to say it without ruining everything. Jane was losing her patience, and Daria could tell. 

“Daria, if you’re pissed at me, please just-“

“ _It’s not that!_ ” Daria snapped, and Jane jumped, taken back. She almost never raised her voice, especially at her. She took a deep breath, and turned her heel right back to Jane, who was still shocked. Daria herself couldn't even predict what she was just about to do.

“You wanna know why I’ve been distancing myself from you?” Daria paced toward her, and Jane automatically took a few steps back as Daria got closer. “Fine, I’ll enlighten you, Jane. It’s because distance is the only thing keeping me from saying, ‘ _Oh, by the way, I hate your boyfriend because I wish I could be him. I wish I could be held by you and kissed by you and all that couple junk because I’m secretly in love with you! Yes, you heard correct, I’m a huge fucking lesbo! When did that start, you ask? Oh, about a year ago, when you talked to me in that self esteem class and we bonded and I started thinking you were cute, but I finally came to terms with it. Yeah, turns out my crush on your brother was actually me projecting my thing for you, onto him! Weird, huh? Isn’t it just so cute how I deluded myself into thinking I was straight for almost 18 years? Anyway, wanna dump Tom and go out with me? No? You think I’m a creepy weirdo and you wanna make out with him instead? Oh, I understand. Allow me to burst into flames now!_’” Jane was against the wall as Daria panted, recovering from her rant. She was blushing profusely, but her face was stern. 

“Well? Would you have preferred if I said _that_ instead?” She muttered, and looked at the floor, not seeing how Jane was blushing like crazy herself. 

They stood there in silence for a few seconds, before Jane looked at Daria, dreamily. “You think I’m cute?” She said dumbly, her brain still trying to process everything Daria just threw at her.

Daria stared at her in disbelief. “Seriously, Jane? _That’s_ what you gathered from that?!” Daria sighed, as Jane had the same dumbfounded expression on her face. 

“I knew this would be a complete disaster, what the fuck was I thinking? This was so stupid,” Daria lamented, walking away. Jane shook her head, snapping herself out of her shocked state and grabbed her hand, pulling Daria closer to her. “Oh no you don’t, _amiga_.” Daria’s face turned red again at their close proximity, and Jane brought her to the couch so they wouldn’t have this conversation inches away from Helen’s houseplant.

“My bad for saying probably the stupidest thing I could have in response to that. My brain was playing catch up, you see,” Jane explained, after she sat them down. Daria blinked and stared at their intertwined hands, noticing that Jane hadn’t let go. Her mind was repeating “ _she’s holding your hand_ , _oh my god_ ,” over and over again.

“Anyway. It’s funny that you said that, because that’s why I’m even here.”

Daria tilted her head in confusion, and Jane chuckled. “ _So cute_ ,” she thought.

“I came here to confess my undying love for you, Morgendorffer. I mean, I wanted to know why you were acting all weird, but finding out that you were just secretly in love with me was a huge plus,” Jane said casually, pretending that she didn’t know that this was a huge fucking deal.

Now it was Daria’s turn to stare.

“What?” She blurted out, and Jane decided to make it clearer.

“Daria, I’m in love with you.” 

Daria looked away, trying to process what the fuck was going on.

“ _What?_ ” She repeated, more breathy this time. She looked at Jane again, putting a finger up.

“Wait, is this a joke? Because I swear to God, Lane, if you’re fucking with me to paint my reaction late or whatever-“ Daria accused, and Jane interrupted her, offended.

“ _Hey_ , I’d never make something like this up. You know me, Daria.” She said, seriously. “I like, really, really, _really_ , like you.” Jane made her voice squeaky, mocking Brittany to lighten the mood.

“You...... like me?” Jane nodded. Finally, it was sinking into her head.

“Oh my god,” Daria looked away, as her face turned crimson.

“Yeah.”

Daria stared at the floor for a few seconds, then randomly started laughing. Jane looked at her nervously. Was she gonna have a breakdown? Did Jane of all people actually break Daria?

When Daria stopped, she just gave Jane a smile. “Oh man, this is hilarious. I was actually gonna come by your place later and tell you. You know, going by your usual wake up time of 3pm on the weekends,” Daria admitted.

“I was gonna have it all planned out. But instead of confessing in a proper way, I practically pinned you against the wall and shouted it at you,” her smile dropped, and she put her head in her hands.

“Hey, I don’t think I could have ever imagined a love confession better than hearing it come from the most quiet person I know raising her voice a few decibels to say how much she’s wanted to kiss me,” Jane joked, smirking as Daria groaned. 

“This is so fucking embarrassing,” Daria whined, her ears red. Jane just smiled, and gently moved Daria’s hands from her face, putting a hand to her cheek. Her stomach was doing backflips at the contact, but seeing Daria’s more flustered expression made her much less nervous.

“Daria, it’s okay. I honestly liked it, you know. Once I realized what the hell was happening. It was pretty damn romantic, coming from you. I can tell how much this was eating away at you.” The sincerity in Jane’s blue eyes took Daria aback, she felt more vulnerable than ever before. Jane gave her a smile. “If it makes you feel better, I’ve been repressing my feelings for you for a while, too. It took me much longer to figure it out, though.” Jane moved her hands away, and Daria looked at her in realization. 

“..Yeah, that reminds me, actually. Aren’t you still with Tom? Is it really okay for you to be romancing your best friend while your unsuspecting boyfriend sits on the sidelines?” She verbally prodded, and Jane made an o-face. “Oh yeah, forgot to mention that. We broke up,” she said casually, and Daria’s eyebrows perked up. “Woah, really? Who initiated it?” She tried her best not to sound ecstatic even though every single part of her body was screaming “ _Finally_ ”. 

Jane shrugged, putting an arm around the couch. “Yeah, happened last night. I brought it up, but he told me he already saw it coming. Guess I’m getting predictable.” 

“Oh.” Daria said, but Jane could tell she wanted to say more.

“Don’t hold back, Dar. I know you’ve been waiting for this.”

“Oh yeah, I have.” She said honestly, before covering her mouth with her hand, embarrassed. “I mean-“

Jane laughed. Daria could honestly be adorable without even trying. Daria pouted as Jane chuckled at her, before going on with what she was saying.

“Anyway, why now? What made you decide to break up with him recently? Did you miss me so much that you realized you adored me more than him?” Daria smirked, and widened her eyes when Jane nodded.

“Well, yeah, basically. I’ve always liked hanging out with you more than I have with Tom. When you stopped hanging out with me as often, it hurt. But it really started sinking in yesterday. Then Trent told me I was being weird, but not for being upset about that. Like, I was weird for dating Tom to get over the.. thing I had for you. I don’t know how to explain it,” Jane gave up. “The point is, I’ve always thought you were straight, and I’ve always kinda known that I’m not, so I tried my best to get over my little crush on you that I’ve had basically since we’ve met. So I dated Tom because he’s.. um, a lot like you.” Jane rubbed the back of her neck shyly, and Daria’s eyes widened.

“Well, I thought I was straight almost all this time too, so I can’t blame you.” Daria joked. “As for Tom being like me...” She blushed. “Um, yeah. That thought always was in the back of my mind, I guess. I think that’s why I was always a little bitter towards him.” She admitted, and Jane smirked at her. 

“You sure that’s the only reason? What about your reaction towards Evan? And that one guy at Brittany’s party a year back?” Daria tried her best to glare at her. 

“Shut up, how do you even remember that guy? It wasn’t even jealousy, he was just painfully stupid. Plus, Evan just looked like a typical douchebag. I was just looking out for you, no secret feelings involved with my judgement, there.” Daria defended, crossing her arms while Jane just smiled. 

“Yeah, sure it was, kid.” 

They sat in silence for a few seconds, before Daria asked a very important question.

“So, what _are_ we?”

Jane blinked. She wasn’t expecting to get this far.

“Well, if I like you...”

“And you like me...” Daria continued.

“Then I guess we’re dating?” Jane finished, and she felt almost at peace after it sunk in. Her and Daria. 

_Girlfriends_. 

It sounded right. 

Daria clearly felt the same, because she smiled. But then her smile turned into a frown.

“Jane, it makes me so happy to hear you say that. But, I’m worried. What if this doesn’t work out? I don't want to lose you as a friend or have things get all...weird, you know?” Daria said worriedly, looking at the floor.

“Daria, look at me.” Jane leaned over and tapped the left side of her cheek, moving it so it faced hers. Daria cheeks flushed again at how close they were. 

“I care about you so, _so_ much, platonically _and_ romantically. Even if us dating doesn’t feel right after a while, I’m still gonna be your friend. I’m _always_ gonna be your friend. You being in my life is far too important to me for me to let you... _this,_ ” she pointed in between the two of them, “go. You know that.” She put a hand to her cheek, smiling again. “Okay?” 

Daria’s hickory eyes seemed to twinkle. They were shining with an emotion Daria rarely allowed herself to feel around other people; vulnerability, but there was also a hint of pure unadulterated love, and gratitude towards the only person in her life she found herself able to act like this towards.

She closed her eyes and took in a breath, nodding to herself. She put her forehead to Jane’s, and smiled at her.

“Yeah. Okay. I trust you.” She said, simply. Jane smiled back at her. “Good.” 

They both stared in each other’s eyes for a little while, before both closed their eyes and leaned in. 

Just as their lips were about to touch, the door swung open, and Quinn came in, talking loudly on her phone.

“Yes, Stacy, I’ll be back soon, just had to get my portable charger for later.” Quinn winced as Stacy cried on the other line, thinking Quinn hated her house and that’s why she left. “No, I told Tiffany when I left, your house is perfect. I wouldn’t leave for no reason.” She changed the subject, hoping she’d stay calm. “Oh yeah, I think that totally would look cute on you. Never mind what Sandi said, you already know some of her fashion ideas are… questionable.” Quinn took a casual look at the couch, and moved to go up the stairs. “Hey Daria, Hey Jane. Yeah, I know she’s a good leader. Bu-“ 

Her eyes widened with realization, and she did a double take, stepping off the staircase.

Jane and Daria stared at her, mortified. They quickly jumped apart, faces completely red. 

“ _Hello? Quinn? You there?_ ” The voice on the line said, while Quinn stared at her sister and her new girlfriend in shock. 

“Um, Stacy, I’ll have to call you back. Family emergency.”

“ _Okay, but_ -“ Stacy started, but Quinn already hung up.

Quinn went to the front of the couch, her mouth agape. Since Daria seemed in a similar shocked state, Jane decided to handle damage control as best as she could.

“Um, Quinn, this isn’t what it looks li-“ Quinn ignored her and looked at Daria, her face breaking into a huge grin.

“ _Daria_! You finally did it! Oh my _god_ , it took you long enough!” Quinn sighed dramatically, sitting in between the two.

She put a hand over her mouth, giggling.

“Ooh, finally decided to make the moves on Jane when no one else is home? How _scandalous_ , Daria! I didn’t think _you_ out of all people would pull something like _that_ off!” Quinn wiggled her eyebrows, making Jane widen her eyes as Daria covered her face with her hand.

“Quinn, I didn’t invite Jane here. She came here on her own.” Daria muttered, finally finding her voice. Jane nodded.

“Oh,” Quinn said, bored. “Wait, you knew?” Jane asked, and Quinn rolled her eyes. “Duh. You guys are so obvious, you know.” Jane looked at Daria, who frowned. “Quinn, don’t you have a sleepover to get to?” She said, hoping that would get her to move along. “Trying to get rid of me, huh Daria?” She smirked, a mischievous glint in her eye. Quinn turned toward Jane, gesturing toward Daria with her head. 

“You know, she talks about you all the time. When she’s willing to talk, that is.” Quinn whispered, and Daria glared at her.

“ _Quinn_!” Daria said angrily, but Jane decided to tease her, too.

“Oh, really?” Jane smirked back, and Daria gave her a look saying, “ _not you, too_ ”. “Pray tell, how long has she been doing that?” 

Before Quinn could answer, Daria swung the pillow from behind her at Quinn’s head. 

“ _Ow_!” Quinn rubbed at the spot, and Daria smiled evilly. “I‘ll do a lot worse than that if you keep talking,” she threatened, and Quinn put her hands up and got out of the chair, admitting defeat.

“Okay, okay, I’m going. Have fun with your little make out sesh,” she stuck her tongue out at Daria and went up the stairs.

Daria closed her eyes and sighed, while Jane was still giving her a smug look.

“ _What_?” Daria asked.

“Just wondering what you gush about me most. It’s my _joie de vivre,_ isn’t it?”

Daria rolled her eyes. “Yeah, our complete lust for life is what makes us such ‘ _special’_ friends.”

Jane laughed, and Daria smiled at the sound, then blushed a bit.

“… But if really wanna know, it’s probably... everything about you. Your artistry, your humor, the way I could just sit in comfortable silence with you… Quinn, shockingly, helped me realize that those feelings weren’t entirely _platonic bff_ thoughts. A bit cliché, but it’s true. You’re just a barrel of sunshine, Lane.” She looked to the side, too embarrassed to make eye contact.

Jane blinked at the sincerity, but kept her cool and grinned.

“Always knew you had a dying affection for me, Morgendorffer. I can’t blame you, though. I am pretty great.”

Daria groaned, she hated stroking Jane’s ego.

“We’re barely an hour into our relationship, and I already want to end it,” Daria pouted, and Jane shushed her, throwing an arm around her shoulder. 

“Shh, you don’t mean that.” Jane said, stroking her hair as Daria tried to get out of her grasp, to no avail. She sighed, admitting defeat.

“Yeah, you’re right, I don’t.” Jane smiled, bending down a bit to kiss her on the cheek. “If it helps, I think you’re pretty cool, too.”

Daria couldn’t help the smile that spread on her face, too. It was much different than her normal reserved one. Not very cheeky, but just as sincere.

“That’s… cool.” She settled on saying, and Jane smiled back.

“You know I love you, right?” Jane asked, and Daria blushed, nodding.

“Yeah, I know. I, um…” she started nervously, finding it hard to finish. She’s never been good at saying those special three words, even to her parents. Noticing her struggle, Jane just kissed her forehead.

“Hey, you don’t have to say it back right now. You know, if you’re not ready. I already know.” Jane smiled, and Daria smiled too, but looked at the ground, feeling too awkward and exposed to make eye contact.

“…Thank you.” Jane just shook her head, stroking her hair.

Jane lifted her chin, both of their cheeks still burning. She leaned closer to Jane who did the same, and they finally pressed their lips together. Daria let out a small sigh from her nose, and Jane smiled through the kiss as she felt Daria wrap her arms around her neck to keep her close. She realized she’d never forget the softness of Jane’s lips against hers, and the momentary jealousy she had towards Tom returned. She really couldn’t blame him for liking Jane though, especially when kissing her felt this _good_.

She made it a point to savor the strawberry flavor of Jane’s red lip-gloss, the smell of her papaya scented shampoo, and the feeling of Jane’s red jacket against her arms as they held each other close. Daria finally felt whole when they broke apart for air and Jane’s eyes brightened as she noted how Daria didn’t move her arms away from her neck once her consciousness returned from cloud nine. This much intimacy between them was so unusual, but not unwelcome.

“Well, how was it?” She beamed, and Daria pretended to think.

“It was alright, I guess,” trying to ignore the sparks that were still running up and down her spine. “It was my first kiss, after all. Not like I had much to compare it, with.” She said nonchalantly, and Jane feigned surprise, knowing Daria was just teasing.

“Oh? Should we try again? You know, for comparisons’ sake.”

Daria nodded. “Yes ma’am. Anything for science.”

Jane chuckled as Daria eagerly closed her eyes and puckered her lips slightly, waiting for Jane. She made a noise of confusion and opened her eyes after a few seconds of Jane just staring at her, fondly.

“Um, Jane?” She pouted, “Not to be rude or anything, but this position is kind of uncomfortable. Could you hurry up and kiss me, alr- _mmm_!” Daria widened her eyes in surprise as Jane put her lips to her own unexpectedly, and Jane resisted the urge to laugh as they broke apart again.

“Are you always gonna tease me like that?” She frowned playfully, and Jane gave her a roguish grin.

“As long as you keep giving me cute reactions like that, then yeah.” Daria rolled her eyes, pulling her down again.

They kissed once more, until they heard Quinn’s footsteps coming back the stairs, giggling as she opened the front door.

“Have fun, you lovebirds,” she teased, and Daria aimed another pillow at her, which ended up hitting the door instead.

She huffed and laid against Jane (who was still chucking) and grabbed the tv remote from the night stand. She decided that that was enough kissing… at least for a while.

At least until the embarrassment died down.

“So, how were those kisses, Einstein?” Jane joked, and Daria smirked at her as Jane put an arm around the couch.

“Pretty good, I guess. They made my heart skip a beat a few times, so I’d say you did a pretty great job, Lane.”

Jane put a fist up in the air triumphantly, and Daria rolled her eyes again, as she put the tv on.

“By the way, how‘s your family gonna react to... you know. All of this?” She asked since the show they wandered onto as on commercial, and Jane just gave her a look.

“They probably aren’t gonna really give a shit. I mean, come on. It’s my folks we’re talking about here. Trent didn’t even care, and the rest of ‘em will probably say ‘ _love is love_ ’ and send me lesbian pride posts or something, but they definitely won’t freak out. I’m sure about that.” Jane shrugged.

“What about you, though? I mean, Quinn _obviously_ is fine with it. But what about Helen and Jake?” Daria blinked, and stared at the tv, trying to think.

“I don’t think they’re gonna kick me out on the street for it or some stuff like that,” she was positive about that. “I dunno. My parents have always been open minded about that stuff. They were pretty cool when gay marriage got legalized back in Texas, and they’ve both taken clients that are gay with no problem. They were even _hippies_ for God’s sake. I know they’re open-minded. That being said, I’m not sure if...”

“They’ll be okay with you being gay, even if they’re fine with others being gay?” Jane guessed, and Daria nodded, sitting up.

“Yeah. Again, probably not gonna get disowned over it, especially since Quinn is cool with it. I know she’ll have my back,” she smiled, thinking about how much her and Quinn’s relationship has improved over the year. “But you know. They might be all… _weird_ about it.”

“...What do you wanna do? You wanna come out to them now?” Jane asked, and Daria shrugged. “I guess. I haven’t really thought about it, y’know? After all, I realized I was gay like… a month ago. Should probably be careful with how I tell them so my dad doesn’t have another heart attack.” 

“You want me to be here when you do? For moral support?” Daria thought about it, and shook her head.

“Nah. I think I should do it with just them, even if you’re practically family already,” Jane smiled at that. “They’ll probably connect the dots that we’re dating, anyway. The kids at school did before we have,” She joked, and Jane fake gasped.

“Wow! People thought _we_ were dating? No way!” Daria just gave her an playful annoyed look. “Cut the theatrics, Lane. You already know the kids at our school are experts in _Queer Theory_ ,” she smirked, and Jane laughed. 

“But seriously, though. If I need backup, or if they do get mad, I’ll call you. I highly doubt that will happen, but you know. Just in case.” 

Jane nodded, and Daria laid back against her, turning the tv on and scrolled through the channels, landing on some teen romcom that looked funny enough to mock.

“Just know that I’ve got your back, though.” She said, hoping Daria would hear her over the tv. She did, and turned her head around to smile at her. 

“You’ve always have.” She kissed her cheek quickly, turning her head back around, so they could both pay full attention to the show.

* * *

A few hours later, Helen arrived at the house, her work at the office done for the day.

“I know, Eric. I can’t believe how well that case went either. But sometimes to get clients to listen, you just gotta be a little firm with them!” Helen said at the door, putting her key in the lock. 

“Anyway, I’ll call you back, just got home. Yes, I’m sure I will. I just need to cook dinner for my kids, haha. Bye!” She sighed as she hung up, exhausted. She knew she was just gonna order some food for them anyway, but he didn’t need to know all of that.

She walked through the living room to get the menu for takeout, but stopped right in her tracks when she saw the heads of _two_ bodies on the couch instead of one. She remembered that Quinn would be back home from her sleepover much later in the evening, so she knew that wasn’t her and one of her boyfriends. “ _Is that... Daria_?” She thought as she walked to the front of the couch, horrified, but a little intrigued. 

She put a hand on her heart at the sight, smiling from ear to ear. Daria and Jane fell asleep during their movie marathon after a few hours, but they were still cuddling each other. Daria’s head was on Jane’s shoulder, and Jane’s head was slightly on her’s. They looked so peaceful. Helen resisted the urge to grab her phone and take a photo (she knew Daria would be embarrassed) but her heart was soaring at how happy her daughter seemed. It took them long enough.

She decided to let them sleep, knowing Daria would talk about whatever was going on between them later.

* * *

Daria wakes up an hour after that, yawning and going to stretch her arms until she realized she wasn’t in her bedroom. Meaning, everything that happened earlier today wasn’t a cruel dream. “ _It was all real, huh_...” She thought, glancing at Jane’s sleeping figure. She closed her eyes for a few more minutes, until Jane herself started to stir, and opened her eyes.

“Well good mornin’, sunshine.” Jane gave her girlfriend a sleepy smile, and Daria gave her one back. “Good morning yourself.” Jane yawned, as Daria sat up, and checked her phone. “Jane, it’s 5 o’clock.” Daria widened her eyes, realizing they slept for 5 hours. Jane sat up herself, rubbing her eyes.

“Shit, really?” She said, sleep still evident in her voice.

“Yeah. My parents are definitely gonna be home soon,” Daria remembered, before hearing a familiar voice sing “too late” from the kitchen. She froze.

“ _Fuck_.” She whispered, as Helen came into the room, a small smirk on her face. 

“Good afternoon, sweetie. Hello, Jane.” 

Daria said nothing, and Jane awkwardly waved. “Um.... Hi?” Helen beamed at her, and continued to stare at Daria, who was staring at the floor.

“Mrs. Morgendorffer, I’m sorry for intruding. I can leave if you’d like-“ Jane got up, pointing to the door, and Helen stopped her. “Oh no, honey. Stay! We have plenty to discuss.” She said kindly, and Jane sat back down and looked at Daria helplessly. 

“Mom, if you’re mad at me for.... you know, that’s fine, but leave Jane out of it.” Daria spoke up, trying her best to keep an even tone. Helen shook her head, dropping her smile at her daughter’s clear anxiety. “Sweetie, I’m not angry at all. I just think Jane should be here until your father comes. This is a big moment in your life! He should be here when we talk about it. Same with Quinn.” 

As if on cue, Jake opened the door not even two seconds later, with Quinn not too far behind him.

“ _Dad_ , I told you, I was perfectly fine walking home.” Quinn whined, clearly embarrassed. 

“But sweetie, you might get a cold! I wanted you to be nice and safe in our car.” Jake defended, and Quinn rolled her eyes. 

“Dad, it’s almost June. Plus, it’s like 70 degrees today.” She just sighed as he looked at her, and dropped the subject.

Helen greeted them, and Jane and Daria looked like they wanted to be anywhere else.

“Oh, hey Jane! What are you doing here? Did you have a little ‘bestie’ outing with Daria?” Jake asked none the wiser, and Quinn told him that no one seriously says bestie anymore, while Jane snorted at the term. 

“Actually, Mr. Morgendorffer, we, or um, Daria, has something important to say.”

Daria sat there in silence as 8 pairs of eyes stared at her, and she got up without a word and went to the kitchen.

“Let’s talk about it after dinner, please. Don’t want Dad to hear this on an empty stomach.”

* * *

They ate the food Helen ordered in near silence; everyone could sense how nervous Daria was, even though she tried to hide it. Jane slipped her left hand under the table and held Daria’s, who squeezed it gently. Jane squeezed back, a silent way of expressing “ _it’s gonna be okay_.”

As everyone finished, Daria took a deep breath and cleared her throat. She looked at Jane, who nodded and gave her a reassuring smile.

“Okay. It all honesty, I wasn’t planning on Jane being here for this, or doing this today.” Her heart felt like it was gonna come out of her chest; she didn’t realize how nerve racking this would actually be. 

“This may change the way you guys think about me. Except for Quinn, since she already knows.” Quinn smiled at her, and Daria gave a small smile back.

She gave her full attention to her parents, and swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Um, but basically.... I’m gay, and Jane’s my girlfriend. As of today, she is, at least. Again, this might completely change everything, and that’s okay. I don’t expect you guys to be completely fine with it, but I’m not gonna stop seeing Jane.” Daria intertwined her fingers with Jane’s, who‘s face brightened. “I really... like her. She makes me happy, and I like being around her. I hope that you guys are cool with that, or at least can, y’know. Bear with it until I go off to college.” She finished, still anxious as Jake and Helen were processing everything she said. Jane squeezed her hand again to comfort her, as Helen spoke.

“Daria, you’re our daughter,” Daria winced slightly, her hand shaking in Jane’s palm. _Here we go._

“...And because you’re our daughter, we respect who you love, no matter their gender. Especially if it’s a girl as wonderful as Jane is.” Helen smiled at them both, and Jake nodded. 

“My father never accepted me for who I was. When Helen and I had you two girls, I swore that I was gonna raise you both better than that so you would never have to go through what I did.” Tears came to his eyes as he reached out a hand to both of his daughters. “Daria, honey, I’m sorry if you ever thought we wouldn’t be okay with you and Jane. I don’t care who you’re with, as long as you’re happy.” 

“Yeah and besides, lesbian sisters are like, _sooo_ in right now,” Quinn joked, giving her sister a half smile. 

Daria was taken aback, not expecting things to go this well... or this emotional. 

“Um... thank you, guys. Really. I’m happy you’re being so cool about this. Both of us are.” She looked at Jane, who nodded in agreement. 

“Of course, kiddo. Honestly, I thought you were gonna talk about wanting to drop out of high school or something, but this was so much easier to handle.” Jake said, wiping sweat from his brow.

“Yeah, and honestly, we’ve always been open to the idea of one of you girls being gay. After all, we were pretty woke back in the day.” Helen winked, and chuckled at her own little joke. 

“ _‘Woke’?”_ Jane snickered, and Daria just sighed. “Just be glad she isn’t calling me a slur or a disappointment.”

"Also, it was kind of clear that you liked Jane after you asked for our advice that day." Jake grinned. "I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I had a strong feeling after that." Helen gave him an unimpressed look. "Honey, you had no idea she was talking about Jane at first. I had to explain it to you when we went back in our room.' 

Jake gave his wife an offended look. "You didn't have to tell them that!' 

"You asked for their advice? Just to date 'lil ol' me?' Jane whispered, batting her eyelashes as Daria gave her the best glare she could muster, despite her face being anything but threatening. "Shut up, you know they get all... parental sometimes. I didn't have a choice." Jane smirked, taking a bite of some leftover food. "Yeah, yeah. You love me."

The conversation on the table shifted as Helen got up to wash the dishes, with Quinn discussing her sleepover and complaining about how she got 20 texts per half hour from some guys wanting to ask her out to Daria’s parents asking Jane about her new art pieces, as if nothing out of the ordinary even happened. Daria looked at all of them, and she realized how _free_ she finally felt. Her heart was pounding, but not with fear as it was just 20 minutes prior - but instead, was bursting with an emotion she didn’t feel very often - 

_Gratitude_. She was never this happy to be a Morgendorffer than this very moment.

* * *

After their conversations died down about half an hour later, Quinn excused herself to her room, and Jake and Helen did the same.

“Have a goodnight, Jane-o! I can drive you back, if you want!” Jake offered, and Jane gave him a reserved smile back. 

“Um, thanks Mr. Morgendorffer, but I’m fine walking. After all, it’s still a nice day and all-“ Jane said, but Helen just gave Jake a look. “She probably just doesn’t want to be seen with you in the car, dear.”

Jake pouted. “What’s that supposed to mean? The car is great! I just fixed the radio, got some new tires, and-“ 

“Anyway! Get home safely, Jane.” Helen interrupted, smiling. Jake grumbled something about no one appreciating the car as much as he did as he walked up the stairs to their room. 

“I’ll just see her off, Mom.” Daria said, standing near the door. Helen gave her a sly smile. “I’m sure you will.” Daria glared at her, her cheeks turning a bright red while Helen chuckled and went to the master bedroom.

After hearing the door close, Daria and Jane looked at each other, their first time alone for almost two hours.

“Um....” 

“So....”

“Wasn’t expecting that to go so _peachy_.” Jane brought up, and Daria agreed, letting out a breath of relief. 

“Yeah, man. I didn’t even realize how stressful that stuff actually is.” She glanced away from Jane, suddenly shy.

“I’m glad. Y’know. That you were here. I thought it would make things more awkward, but it just made it so much easier.” She was blushing again, and Jane just smiled, shrugging it off.

“It’s no problem. I’m glad I was able to help you.” 

They smiled at each other for a few more seconds, before Jane cleared her throat.

“...So, I guess I’ll see you later then?” Jane questioned, and Daria nodded.

“Yeah. Totally. Since you’re my girlfriend now. I mean, if you were just my best friend I’d still see you of course. But here you are. My GF, if you will,” Daria babbled nervously, and Jane raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly.

“ _I’ve been talking for too long_.” She whispered to herself, and Jane chuckled.

She mustered up the courage to lean down and give Daria another kiss on her right cheek, and gave her a shy smile back, ignoring the heat in her own cheeks.

“See ya later, ‘ _GF’_.” She joked, and Daria’s face turned red again.

“Yeah. See ya.” She tried to say nonchalantly, ignoring how her voice cracked slightly. Jane opened the door and walked out, and Daria waved at her, still standing by it.

She held her cheek while she went into her room, still smiling. Quinn passed by her, smirking at her sister’s near giddiness that was written all over her face.

“Someone’s happy,” She sung, and Daria surprisingly, didn’t glare. She just smiled at her sister, before closing her bedroom door.

“Yeah. I guess they are.”

* * *

Jane walked with a spring in her step on the whole way home. Somehow, she broke up with her mildly long term boyfriend and got a girlfriend all within 24 hours. 

“Not bad Lane, not bad.” She said to herself, putting her key in the lock. 

When she opened the door to her near empty home, she was shocked to see Trent in the living room, awake. She wasn’t shocked by the distinct smell of weed, though. When he heard the door open, he gave her a lazy smile.

“So, how did it go? You were gone for a while.” He walked up to her, and she tried her best not to smile like an idiot.

“Oh, it went well.” Judging from the way Jane couldn’t stop smiling, Trent knew it went more than well. But he dropped it, glad that his little sister was finally, truly happy.

“I bought some ice cream with some leftover money I found in the broken cupboard, by the way.” Jane’s face brightened. 

“No way! Was it cookie dough flavored?”

Trent nodded, and Jane smiled again.

“Awesome.” She grabbed a spoon from the kitchen, and realized she’s never been this happy in her life. 

Things were going great for Daria and Jane, and they couldn’t be happier.

* * *

After a few more days of dating, Daria and Jane tried to keep it as low-key as possible (Daria was never a fan of too much attention, and while Jane was _slightly_ more extroverted, she could do without their classmates gawking at them, too), but of course, some people had started to take notice. 

“Uh oh. Idiots at 3 o’clock.” Jane warned in between periods, while Daria was getting her books out of her locker.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific,” Daria said, raising an eyebrow. “This is _Lawndale High_ we’re talking about.”

“Good point. But you’ll find out who in about... three...two...” Jane counted down, pretending to glance at a watch on her wrist.

“Hi, Daria! Hi, Jane!” Brittany chirped, with Kevin holding her hand. 

“One.” Jane finished and Daria sighed.

“Hey, Brittany. What’s up? You need help with that assignment in physics?” Daria asked nicely, still going through her locker.

Brittany shook her head, until she thought about it.

“Um... maybe... but that’s not why we’re here!” Brittany said, and Kevin looked nervous.

“Yeah, we’ve been like, hearing stuff about you guys. I didn’t know you were _gay_ , Daria.” Kevin‘s eyes were comically wide, and Jane resisted the urge to snort. 

Before Daria could answer, Brittany gave Kevin a surprised (and mildly annoyed) look. 

“What? Kevvy, how did you _not_ know?” She squealed, and the other three looked at her, confused.

“...Brittany, are you saying _you_ knew this whole time?” Jane asked, baffled, while Daria and Kevin both had a stunned look all over their faces.

Brittany looked at her as if she had two heads.

“Well, of _course_ I did! It was _so_ obvious! I know you guys are, like, unpopular, but even _I_ pick up these things! Did you think I was _stupid_ or something?” She looked at them accusingly, and Jane put up her arms in defeat.

“Not even for a second.” Daria said, and Brittany smiled again. 

“Great! We came here to congratulate you guys on finally becoming a couple! Right, Kevvy?” She elbowed his stomach, and he winced. 

“Um, yeah! We just wanted to see if the rumors were like... real. I guess you and Jane being gay makes sense, since you guys clearly aren’t into me.” Kevin smiled, and Jane snorted out loud this time.

“ _This poor idiot_ ,” Daria thought. 

“Yes, Kevin. Me and Jane weren’t attracted to you specifically because we like each other. It absolutely has nothing to do with your abnormally below average intelligence,” she snarked, and Kevin just smiled more, not picking up on the jab.

“That’s great! I hope you guys have a nice big gay wedding someday, or something!” Kevin said brightly, and him and Brittany walked away, waving.

Daria closed her locker, and Jane smirked at her as they walked to their next class.

“Well, are yo into ‘ _big gay weddings_ ’, Ms. Morgendorffer?” Daria smirked back.

“Eh, I don’t know. I was thinking of having a small gay wedding in a courthouse, instead. Or maybe a few big gay dates, first.” She joked, as their hands brushed against each other.

She decided to put her hand in Jane’s, the first display of PDA they’ve ever really partook in. Jane looked at her in mild surprise, and Daria’s face read ‘ _don’t ruin the moment_ ,” so she said nothing, smiling as they walked to class.

Daria’s phone buzzed, and she let go of her backpack strap that she was holding with her other hand to check the notification.

_Two new messages from Twitter:_

_@classrepjo:_ congratulations on you and jane by the way. you guys are adorable 

_@classrepjo:_ im happy for you.

Daria smiled at the messages and made a mental note to thank Jodie later.

“What was that?” Jane asked in curiosity, and Daria just shrugged it off. 

“Just a message from a friend.”

“Daria Morgendorffer has a friend besides me? The world must be ending.” Jane teased, and Daria let go of her hand, jokingly offended. After Jane pouted at her for 20 seconds, she sighed exaggeratedly and intertwined their fingers again. 

They both smiled on their way to class, the looks they were getting not breaking their stride.

Life was good. Life was truly, finally, good.

Excluding that time her mom tried to tell her about protection for lesbian sex in case her and Jane ever got… “ _special urges_ ”. Yeah, she couldn’t look her mother in the eye for two days after that.

Besides that, life was definitely at the highest point it’s ever been for Daria. She couldn’t be happier.

It’d be lame to admit that, though.

**Author's Note:**

> god, this is the longest thing ive ever written.
> 
> ill be honest, some of the stuff i wrote here were based on my own experiences with figuring my sexuality out. daria canonically suffering through comphet would have made so much sense for her character, in my opinion. but her being like “im gay so what" also makes sense... i can truly see it going either way
> 
> hopefully in the spinoff that’s being made, they’ll embrace the possibility of letting daria & jane finally be gay. probably won't but a man can dream
> 
> or at least they'll give us way more daria & jodie moments than we got in the original series, ill be good with either. let them be good friends damn it
> 
> seriously though, thanks for reading. 
> 
> this fandom is severely dead, so i need more friends who love it. my tumblr is lovehours, in case you ever wanna dm about it.
> 
> daria and jane playlist i made while writing this is [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4epjjUUGgOZxL5ulFUdqyd?si=HwQabahpQSydYOUXFxQpRQ).


End file.
